Healing Home
by Zephyrs.of.Aura
Summary: You meet the people that are supposed to help you in life. Just...not always in the right order. Maybe it was better this way? (Destiel, First Meeting AU, Technically Coffee-shop AU, Light Angst, Fluff)
1. Different Hellos

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Supernatural, which means its characters, recognized locations, or lore. I just have a bit of fun.

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><p>No. No, no, no, no, no! This wasn't how it was supposed to go. They had been heading home. They were going to be happy. They were a family. What had he done wrong? What had he not seen? His fault, his fault, his fault. She was dead. Gone. Not coming back. Never coming back. She was dead. He was alone.<p>

"Sir? Is there someone I can call for you?"

Dean slowly raised his head from his hands to stare blankly at the nurse standing in front of him. He blinked slowly and tried to gather his thoughts, breathing deeply, "No… No, it's fine."

"Are you sure? It isn't any trouble," she paused uncertainly, fiddling with the stethoscope around her neck, before adding, "And I don't think it would be wise for you to drive right now."

He wanted this women to leave, to just go away and let him fall apart, but it looked like she wasn't planning to go anywhere until she got some semblance of an actual answer from him, "Yeah. It's fine. I'll call Sam. He'll come get us. I won't drive."

"Sam?"

"My brother."

"Okay. Let us know if you need something, and again, I am so sorry for your loss."

She walked away. It took everything Dean had to keep from snorting aloud. "Sorry for your loss". Right. Just how many times had she repeated that in a day? The words were worthless and they didn't make anything better. They didn't change anything, as much as Dean wished they could. He buried his head in his hands again as he felt tears well up. _No. Not here. Don't break here. Push it back._

A soft sound to his left, a much needed distraction, caused Dean to turn his head. Anael, his infant daughter, blinked up at him with bright green eyes from her carrier. Oh God… What was he supposed to do? He couldn't raise a baby on his own. He and Lisa were supposed to do that together. Ana wasn't even three months old yet. They were supposed to raise her and watch her grow together. He was on his own now. Alone.

Dean's thoughts continued in a downward spiral, circling the same thoughts over and over again. He couldn't make sense out of them.

Ana's quiet sneeze brought him back to the present. Reaching over, Dean ran his fingers through the wispy auburn hair she had been born with. Right. He wasn't completely alone. He had his daughter. He had to be strong for his little girl. He **would **be strong for his little girl. Wiping his eyes of any possible rogue tears, Dean pulled out his cell phone. Sam came twenty minutes later, and to Dean's everlasting gratitude, his brother simply nodded to him in understanding without saying a word and took them away from the too clean and too white hospital.

**Seven Months Later**

"Come on, Dean! We've gotta go!"

"Yeah, yeah! Hold your horses, Sammy! I've got a baby to bring too, ya know! It ain't just me!"

Dean ignored Sam's quipped reply in favor of trying to succeed in getting his squirming daughter into her little overalls. In all honesty, Anael seemed to be winning this round. Rolling his eyes and deciding that she didn't need both straps fastened anyway, Dean grabbed the baby, diaper bag, and one of his textbooks before rushing out the door and to the car where his brother was waiting with a slightly impatient look on his face.

"Took you long enough." Sam teased good-naturedly as Dean buckled Ana into her lady-bug themed car seat in the back of the Impala.

"You try getting this little worm into overalls in a hurry, then we'll talk," he slid behind the wheel, "'Sides, it's not like we've got an appointment to get to. We're just going to see your wife and that new coffee shop and bakery she opened across town, so don't get mad when I happen to…"

Sam cut him off, holding up his hands pleadingly, "Okay, okay. I get it. Let's just get there. I told Jess I'd be there by four so I could help her close up and it's already half past three."

Dean chuckled at his brother as he put the car into gear and pulled out of the quaint neighborhood and onto the highway. Sam had hated being even a few seconds late for anything his entire life. To him, if you were on time, you were late. Honestly, it was probably a good quality for his lawyer of a brother to have. Dean though, he realized that time did occasionally need to be slowed down. Hopefully his little brother learned that before he was thirty, but Dean doubted it since his wife was much like Sam himself, and Sam only had a couple years before his thirtieth anyway. Dean had been kind of like that when he was younger, but instead of needing to always be on time, Dean had been rushing through life in general. Lisa had been the one to help him slow down and smell the roses, so to speak.

Shying away from thinking about his late wife, Dean was glad to see that Sam was pulling into the small parking lot outside ofJess' shop. He remembered her naming it "Heavenly Sweets" or something corny like that. Getting out, Dean swung around to the back and detached Ana's car seat before locking up the car and following Sam inside, who promptly went behind the counter to find his wife.

Jess really had done a good job renovating the place. Originally, it had been a diner, probably in the late fifties, but Jess had painted the walls sunshine yellow, put in black tile, and hired Bobby, a family friend, to redo the woodwork and create her chairs, tables, and counter space. The old man had done a stand-up job, as usual, and the bakery had a homey feel that many places weren't able to keep anymore, and Dean liked it there immediately. Apparently, Ana did as well. She smiled happily and pointed towards the assortments of cupcakes, pie, and breads behind the counter and in the display cases.

Dean smiled down at her as he set his book and then her car seat on the nearest table before lifting her from the seat, "Look at that, Ana! Do you see all the pretty cupcakes Aunt Jess made? And do you see the pies? Maybe we can share a bit of one, huh?"

"Da!" was the little girl's reply. She beamed at her father and Dean grinned back. Anael hadn't started talking yet, but her doctor had assured him that it was normal and okay. He'd learned that day that some kids didn't talk until they were two, so he wasn't worried by his daughter only caring for the one syllable in her vocabulary. It was his name, after all.

Dean was still showing Anael anything that caught her eye when her gaze, bright emerald and identical to her father's, fixed on the only patron in the shop. Judging by the papers he seemed to be marking up with a red pen, Dean guessed the man was a professor at the college campus nearby. He looked a bit stressed as his pen moved furiously over one paper before moving on; his suit was obviously rumpled from a long day and his hair was an utter mess. Bedhead, if Dean had to put it into words, but attractive at first glance for certain. He didn't realize he was staring until Anael chose that moment to loudly proclaim, "Da," while pointing directly at the man in the corner booth with one hand and patting Dean's face with the other. Dean felt his cheeks color slightly as Ana continued to make a fuss, causing the man to look up at the pair. Dean was struck by the color of this guy's eyes. They were the brightest and most intense blue he had ever seen and seemed to see straight into him.

Nearly to Dean's relief, his gaze shifted from him to Ana, who was still causing a small ruckus, before he smiled warmly and waved slightly at the little girl who waved back exuberantly. Taking that as some form of invitation, that and he was a little bored waiting for Sam, Dean crossed the shop and stood in front of the man, holding out his free hand, "Hey there. I'm Dean."

The man looked at Dean's hand before meeting his eyes. Dean almost choked on air. If he thought he was attractive before, well, this was something else entirely. God, what was wrong with him? He hadn't even looked at anyone since…

Right, no. Dean shook his head a little to clear it and Ana pulled his ear, "And you are?"

The blue-eyed angel tilted his head to the side a little, studying Dean. He was quiet for so long that Dean began to wonder if he was going to answer at all. He opened his mouth to ask again when the guy put his pen down and finally spoke up, "Castiel. My name is Castiel."

Anael instantly made a questioning noise, making both men smile a little at her before turning to one another again.

"Nice to meet you, Castiel. Interesting name, that. Religious family, angel?"

Castiel raised an eyebrow at the rather forward nickname, "Yes, in fact. Most people do not know the origin of my name. It is refreshing to see someone who does. Please, sit." He gestured towards the chair in front of him.

Dean sat down, wondering if this Castiel was always so formal, and settled Ana on his lap as he tickled the little girl, causing the baby to giggle, "Well, this is Anael, or Ana as most call her, so I know a thing or two about angel names."

"I see. Are you a religious man then?"

Dean paused for a moment. He hadn't explained why Ana was named as she was since before Lisa had passed. He usually just introduced his daughter as Ana and not by her full name. There was no real reason for it. Her name simply meant "joy", but it was still something left from his wife.

Seeing Dean's hesitation, Castiel backtracked a little, "I am sorry. You need not tell me anything if you do not wish to."

Brought back to the present, Dean shook his head again, running one hand through his dirty blonde hair, "Nah, it's okay. Anael was the name that my…late wife chose. She wanted something unique that was still beautiful. We liked it, and when she was born, it seemed to suit her." Dean looked down at his daughter and bounced her lightly on his knee.

"I see. And it does. Suit her, I mean. She seems very happy."

Dean was thankful that he tactfully passed over the mention of Lisa. He was so tired of people apologizing for her death. It had been terrible and it still bothered Dean, but he was okay and neither wanted nor needed people's pity. It had been bad the first couple of months, but Sam and Jess had helped out. After that, he'd pulled himself together for the sake of his daughter, who was currently happily chewing on her loose overall strap.

"I certainly hope so. I do the best I can for her."

"Oh please, Dean. You deserve the 'Father of the Year' award for how well Ana is taken care of." Sam stepped back out from the kitchen area, his arms full of cleaning supplies, which he proceeded to dump on the countertop without care.

"Ah, be quiet, Sammy."

His brother looked up at him from where he had started scrubbing something that had dried on the backsplash of the counter, "I'm serious, Dean. I'm proud of you."

"Yeah, yeah. Not in front of the customers."

Castiel interrupted then, "I am not quite a customer. My brother, Gabriel, works as one of the bakers here. He was very excited to get the job so soon out of culinary school."

"Wait. Your brother is that prank pulling flirt?" Sam nearly jumped over the counter in his rush to get his sentence out. As it was, he stayed rooted in his spot, scrubbing the tiles, and trying not to get his button-up wet.

Blinking, Castiel nodded thoughtfully, "I suppose that is a good way to describe him. He is much more…flamboyant than I." he ventured a quick glance at Dean before giving his attention back to Sam. "I have been told his baking makes up for it though, yes?"

Dean stopped listening as Sam launched into some of the stories Jess had brought home about her mischievous employee. He'd clocked out when he had near conformation that this guy, Castiel, might be available and potentially interested. Dean picked Ana up from his lap and turned her so she could sit on the table in front of him. He stared at his daughter as he thought.

It'd been a very long time since he'd dated, years actually, but he was no stranger to picking up and understanding signals from people. And finding someone he actually liked, and seemed to connect with relatively well, who already knew he had a kid, and didn't seem deterred, was honestly just a bonus. Dean glanced around Anael to look at Castiel for a moment. He found piercing blue eyes, dark messy hair, and the hint of a five o'clock shadow on the man's face. Yeah, okay, it didn't hurt that the guy was downright gorgeous either.

"Uh, Dean?" Sam's voice broke through his reverie. What? Oh. He was staring at Castiel. Then again, Castiel was staring right back. When had that happened?

He straightened up, clearing his throat, and stopped gawking at the man sitting across from him, "Yeah? What's up?"

Sam's eyebrows raised so far, Dean thought they might fly off his forehead, "Just thought I'd let you know Jess and I are taking her car back home, so you can leave when you like and we can meet up for dinner later tonight."

Dean chanced a glance back at Castiel. He was still staring at Dean's profile.

"When do you close up?"

"Soon." Sam deadpanned.

Alright, so that particular bitch face meant get-the-hell-out-soon-or-I-shall-not-be-a-happy-brother-flirt-on-your-own-time-geez.

"Right then, I guess that means I'll just get a move on. Maybe run some errands." He trailed off as he gathered up a sleepy looking Anael and got to his feet. Trudging back over to the table he had deposited Ana's car seat, he strapped her in and turned back towards Castiel. He nearly jumped when he realized the man was literally standing a foot away from him. Wow. Personal space much?

Anael reached out to him and Castiel smiled as he let the little girl tug onto his finger as she slipped into sleep. Castiel looked back towards Dean, still not backing away, and held out something, "May I leave you my number? I would like to have coffee with you sometime." He gestured towards Anael, "She is welcome to come as well if you'd like. I do not mind."

Oh dear God, this was perfect. There had to be a catch somewhere, but if there was, Dean couldn't find it. So instead, he grinned widely and took the business card that Castiel held, "Sure thing, Cas! I'd like that." He dug into his own wallet for a minute before pulling out his own business card, "And here. Take this just in case I accidentally lose yours or Ana manages to tear it up."

Castiel tilted his head slightly at this second nickname, but he smiled softly before nodding, extracting his hand back from Anael's grip, and taking the card from Dean, "A mechanic, I see."

Dean laughed and moved to the other side of Ana's carrier, "Yeah. I inherited the shop from my dad, but I worked in it myself for a little over fifteen years before I started running it. I still try and work on the cars when I can." He picked up the textbook he hadn't so much as looked at since coming in the bakery, "And I've been slowly putting myself through school to get a business degree. I've got about a year or so left of that. It'll be easier when Ana is a little older, but for now, the situation works."

Cas' eyes had widened a little when Dean told him about his plans, "That is truly impressive, Dean. Not a lot of adults go back to school after their twenties are over. Not only that, but you run a business and are raising a child. Even just thinking about all the work makes me tired."

"Well, you looked pretty frazzled scratching away on those papers over there, so I'm willing to bet you're busy too."

Castiel grimaced at the mention of the pile of papers waiting for him on the back table, "Yes, about that. I teach Religious Studies, and it usually isn't like that as I keep a mostly lecture-based class, but I tried assigning a new essay topic and from what I'm reading, I'm not sure I explained what was supposed to be done well enough. I'll be trying again with another group."

Clapping Cas on the shoulder, Dean grinned, "I'm sure it'll be fine. Why don't you finish grading and then call me to explain it? I'm happy to listen, even if it is in the middle of feeding Ana. We can also set up that date."

"Yes, Dean. I think that would be agreeable."

Dean rolled his eyes at the formality of Castiel's words. Maybe he'd loosen up after actually sitting down and talking with a purpose. Maybe. As it was, he tucked his textbook under his arm, hooked his car keys on his thumb, and picked up Anael's sleeping self in her carrier. He was halfway out the door when he turned back to see Cas staring after him. Dean winked and smirked at the subsequent blush on Castiel's cheeks, "I'll be seeing you, angel," and let the glass door shut soundly behind him and Anael.

Outside, and once Ana was safely tucked back in the car, Dean started realizing exactly what had just happened. He technically had a date. It was good, this he knew, but it felt so strange. He pushed away the little voice in the back of his head that said he was betraying Lisa. He knew he wasn't. She had told him to find someone else to help raise their daughter. She'd reminded him over and over that she loved him and Anael, but once she was gone, loving someone else wasn't wrong. She had said to look after Anael and to be happy. That was all she wanted for the two of them.

Dean felt a small smile creep onto his face as he looked at his napping daughter in the rearview mirror. Maybe he'd thought he couldn't before, but this moment felt different. Regardless, this was something he was willing to try, for both himself and Anael.


	2. Doubts

Dean and Castiel ended up playing phone tag over the next four days. As promised, Castiel had called the day he said he would, but Dean had been putting Anael down for her nap. Dean had returned the call the next day, only to get Cas' really odd voicemail, _Say my name? I am Castiel Novak. This is my phone. _Dean had been laughing so hard that leaving a message was impossible. Even so, Castiel had tried back later the evening after with the message that, obviously, their schedules did not align very well, and perhaps he and Dean could meet back at the coffee shop at the same time he had been there the last week? Returning the call and again getting the funny voicemail, Dean had agreed.

That had been two days ago. It was Wednesday night, the day before his date with Cas, and Dean was doing his best to not think about it. He was failing miserably. His last 'first date' had been when he was twenty-six years old. That had been six years before. After that, he and Lisa had been an exclusive couple. They'd been married three years later and Anael had been born two years after that. Even then, it had been even longer since he'd dated a man. He had a long string of one night stands before he had met his late wife, men included in that list, but the last male he had tried to have a relationship with was sometime in his early twenties. He and Michael had definitely not parted as friends. The exact opposite, really.

Dean ran a hand over his face and turned to look at Anael, who was in her bouncy seat, playing with the toys on it, "Ana, I'm not so sure about this anymore. I mean, it's been so long and Daddy's thirty-two now."

Anael hit one of the toys that spun and laughed while looking up at her father for praise.

"Yes, I see that, little girl."

Ana smiled widely, green eyes sparkling, "Da!"

Dean nodded seriously from his spot at the kitchen table, "I know. I know. I'm just freaking myself out. It'll be fine. What's so difficult, right? We're just going to talk and you'll be there too, huh, Anael?"

"Da! Da!" Ana lifted her arms and waved them towards Dean, asking to be picked up. Smiling softly, Dean pushed away the paperwork that should have been done already and raised Anael from her seat. His daughter automatically grabbed onto Dean's t-shirt with one hand as he settled her on his lap.

Sighing, Dean glanced at the clock that hung above the sink and touched a finger to Ana's nose, who giggled quietly, "Hmm, time for you to go to bed, little worm. It's almost eight and tomorrows a big day."

Rising from his chair, Anael snuggled in his arms, Dean made the short walk down the hallway to Ana's room. He changed her diaper, got her into a light blue onesie before settling her beneath the blankets in the crib, and read her _The Very Hungry Caterpillar_ before kissing her forehead and stepping back to sit on the rocking chair, a gift from Bobby. Rocking slowly, Dean quietly hummed 'Hey Jude', the same lullaby his own mother had sang him and Sam, until he knew Anael was asleep.

In his own room, which actually used to be a study, Dean sat at the edge of his bed in just his boxers and an old AC/DC t-shirt, the baby monitor on the bedside table whirring quietly. He was honestly worried about tomorrow. What if he went and got to know Castiel and didn't like him? Worse, what if he did? He felt like he was stepping onto new territory, like the game had changed. How was dating at his age supposed to work anyway? Were the more fun dates, like carnivals, laser tag, or paintballing even options anymore? What if Castiel didn't enjoy those things? He did teach Religious Studies, after all. Then again, Dean was of the working class and he still enjoyed sitting down with a decent book, so maybe that assumption was unfair. Besides, he'd liked Cas enough last week to give him his number, so he really should stop worrying so much. Groaning, Dean stood and pulled back the sheets and slid beneath them. Flipping onto his stomach and grabbing his pillow, Dean willed himself to sleep. As he'd told Anael, tomorrow was a big day.


	3. Getting Ready

Dean grumbled in annoyance and slammed his hand down on his alarm clock as it buzzed obnoxiously. He swore as his fingers tried to find the snooze button, but failed. Lifting his head and glaring at the horrible contraption, Dean reached down and simply unplugged the damn thing before lying back on his pillows, eyes closed against the early sunrays coming through the window. Today was…Thursday? Yeah, that sounded right. He had to get Anael up and at daycare by nine, then go down to the auto shop to balance the books, sign paperwork, and make sure his employees weren't screwing up his shop. He didn't have class today, but he was pretty sure he was supposed to call Sam at some point. Or had he done that yesterday? Whatever. If he forgot, Sam would call first anyway. Was there anything else? Oh. _Oh…_

Eyes snapping open and all traces of lethargy evaporating, Dean remembered exactly what else there was today. His date. With Castiel. Right. Breathing deeply to calm his suddenly fast beating heart, Dean pushed himself up until he could rest his back on the headboard. _All right. No sense in freaking yourself out, Dean. Just get through your day. _

Throwing a quick glance at the baby monitor, drawing back the dark blue sheets and getting out of bed, Dean ambled down the hall to Anael's room. She was still sleeping peacefully, so he went to the bathroom across the hall, brushing his teeth and showering quickly. Hopefully he could get his morning stuff done before Anael decided to wake up.

He had no such luck though. The moment he stepped out of the shower, still dripping wet, Anael started crying. Hurriedly wrapping a towel around his waist, Dean dashed back across the hall and picked up his distressed daughter, "Well good morning, sunshine! I see you've woken up on the wrong side of the crib." Anael quieted considerably once safely in her father's arms, but still whimpered pitifully.

Dean smiled at her and kissed her cheeks before carrying Ana over to her changing table and setting the baby down on it. He grabbed a fresh diaper, a pair of jeans, and a moss green sweater for her to wear before taking on the task of actually getting Anael into them. Dean talked to Ana as he tried wrestling her into her outfit, "Remember that big day I was talking about? Well, that's today, Ana! Yep, Daddy's got a date. Weird, right?" Ana pouted heavily as her head appeared from the top of the sweater. At almost ten months old, it was clear Anael was about as much of a morning person as Dean himself was.

"Can I tell you a secret? Daddy is actually a little nervous about today, but I'm also happy."

Anael made what sounded like a noise of disapproval as Dean managed to get her arms through the sweater with relative ease before she started crying again. Quickly finishing getting Ana dressed, and whispering soothingly to her, Dean lifted Anael and carried her back to his bedroom. Setting her in the playpen he had set up in the room, Dean grabbed the plush block he knew Ana liked before handing it to her, "Here, Ana. Daddy has to get dressed then we'll go find some breakfast, okay?" Ana took the block and promptly started chewing on it and looked at it, displeased, when she realized it wasn't food. Trying not to laugh, Dean hurried to his closet and pulled out his nicest pair of jeans-which, if he was being honest, weren't exactly what he'd call nice-and one of his tighter black undershirts. He also grabbed his favorite red and black plaid button-up. Changing quickly, as Ana had started sniffling again, he exited his closet with a pair of socks and work boots in hand. He sat on the edge of the bed, facing the little girl, "It's all right, Anael. Just another minute and we'll get you fed." He stood after getting his shoes on and ran back into the bathroom to hang up his towel and run another over his hair to soak away the stray water droplets. By the time that was done, Ana was screeching unhappily, making Dean dash back to get her.

Breakfast and the subsequent clean-up done, Dean packed up the Impala with Ana, her snack and lunch for the day, her diaper bag, and some paperwork for the shop before setting off toward the daycare center.

"Forest Children", the daycare center ran by Dean's longtime friend, Charlie Bradbury, was a small blue and green building right off the highway next to the campus. She was a complete nerd, but a loveable one, despite the slightly shady name of her establishment. Dean remembered her saying something about it referencing some anime. Regardless, it was safe, clean, convenient, and Dean wouldn't trust Anael with anyone else for the length of time she was sometimes there.

Going inside, Ana in tow, Dean was immediately greeted by Jo, another childhood friend, from behind the counter, "Hello! I know that's you, Dean, cuz I can see your boots! Gimme a second. There's a cable back here that just won't…" Jo yelped as there was a sudden buzz from the outlet she had been poking around, "Oh forget it. Charlie! The computer is broken! Come fix it!"

Chuckling, Dean shifted Ana to his other hip as Jo appeared from under the counter, smoothing her light blonde hair down, "Careful there, Jo. Don't want you electrocuted. Just think of what Ellen would say."

"Oh shut up. Mom would probably just tell me I deserved it for messing with the cables since I didn't know how they worked."

"And she wouldn't be wrong either. Jesus, Jo, I fixed this not even last week! Stop putting your feet on the cables and I wouldn't have to fix this. Oh, hey, Dean." Charlie burst into the room, washable marker already on her forearms, fiery red hair streaking behind her as she practically dove behind the counter.

Laughing outright this time, Dean handed Anael to Jo, "Hey Charlie. Business as usual, yeah?"

"Worse, actually. We got some new kids this last week. Brothers. One is five and the other is three. They're little terrors. And-ouch!-get this, one's name is actually Lucifer. I'm not kidding." Charlie stood, rubbing her head from where she'd collided with the underside of the wooden counter, "Anyway, they're both still in the adjustment period and pressing on boundaries. Ya know, testing what they can and can't get away with. It'll be over soon. I hope."

"Sounds like crap, Charlie. Makes me glad I don't have your job."

"Yeah, but you've still got a kid."

Dean smirked, "Anael? She's a little angel."

"Ha-freaking-ha, Winchester."

"You know she's your favorite. Anyway, I gotta get to work. I'm actually running a little behind, so I'll be back at three for Anael." He walked up to Jo, who was still holding the baby, and kissed his daughter on the forehead, "Okay, little girl? I'll see you at three," and waved as he walked back out the door.

Anael raised her pudgy hand and waved back, yelling an actual word for the first time that day, "Da! Da! Da!"

Back outside, Dean made his way back to the Impala and drove across town to work. Without Anael in the car, Dean happily blasted his old rock tapes during the drive. Twenty minutes later, he was parking to the side of "Winchester Auto Repair and Body Shop". He had always rolled his eyes at the long-winded name, but Dean could never bring himself to change it, even after his dad had died and the shop was named his.

Walking into the garage, hearing the familiar sounds of drills, cranks, and wrenches, Dean entered his office and shut the door soundly against the noise. As much as he didn't mind it, the racket from the shop still distracted him if he was balancing the books. He really didn't feel like risking mistakes today. He had plans later, after all.

At the thought of his date, Dean felt his stomach clench. Sitting at his desk and opening the register, Dean resolutely tried to ignore the butterflies currently throwing a party in his stomach and throat.

Three hours later, Dean had gotten almost nothing done. Maybe a full page of receipts, if even that. Checking his watch and seeing it was almost one o'clock, Dean decided he'd go ahead and call Sam to see if they could meet for lunch. He wasn't going to get anything done at the shop today, and if he did, he was pretty sure it wasn't right. Sighing heavily in defeat, Dean pulled out his phone and dialed Sam's number.

It rang twice before Sam picked up, "Dean! What's up?"

"Hey, Sam. You wanna grab lunch today? I'm bored here. Too many numbers."

"Just bored?" Dean could practically see Sam's knowing grin.

He scowled, he never should have told Sam that he had a date later this afternoon, "Yes, Sammy. Just bored. And hungry. I didn't get much of a breakfast since Ana was fussy this morning."

Sam laughed, "Yeah, sure. Sounds great, actually! I could use a break from all this client paperwork. Today's an office day and I hate it. Where you wanna meet up?"

"I was thinking about going to "The Roadhouse". I haven't seen Ellen in a while and it's about halfway between us both."

"Whatever, Dean. You just want one of Ellen's burgers and a decent beer."

Dean frowned again, even if Sam couldn't see it, "Your point? They're good and I know Ellen ain't spittin' in my food. I'll meet you there in twenty. See ya."

Hanging up, Dean distantly heard Sam's laughing, "Bye, Dean," before he stood and stretched. Oh yes, a good greasy burger definitely sounded good right now. Closing the register and putting away the paperwork, Dean grabbed his keys and wallet and made a beeline for one of his mechanics to let them know he'd be out the rest of the day. He found Garth first, underneath an old Chevy, and kicked his boot.

"Hey, Garth. I'm heading out to meet Sam and then pick up Anael. You've got keys to the place, so lock up tonight, alright?"

Rolling out from under the truck, Garth stared up at Dean, "Sure thing, boss! Why ya leavin' so early?"

Dean narrowed his eyes. Garth was a good kid, but he had a knack for cutting directly to the point that you didn't want him to find. He'd found it anyway, and he knew it from the way Dean had slightly tensed at the rather innocent question. Great.

"Nothing Garth. I'm just meeting Sammy for lunch and then I've got to pick up Ana, like I said. Nothing else."

"You sure?"

"…Yes, Garth."

The man shrugged and rolled back beneath the truck, "All right, Dean. But if you need to talk, I'll be under this old clunker."

Smiling awkwardly at Garth's boots, Dean turned to leave, "Yeah, sure. Okay. See ya later."

Nearly sprinting toward the Impala, Dean climbed in and started the engine hurriedly. He gripped the steering wheel tightly, put the car into gear, and headed toward Ellen's place.


	4. Beer, Burger, and Pie

The ten minute drive to "The Roadhouse" was enough for Dean to completely psych himself out about his date, and Sam knew it the second he saw him. Ordering a beer for his brother as Dean slumped into the booth and stared toward the table, not meeting his brother's eyes, Sam raised an eyebrow in askance, "So…you okay?"

"I don't want to talk about it, Sammy."

Sam leaned forward, a determined look on his face, "Maybe not, but you probably should."

He glared slightly in Sam's direction, "Yeah, well, "should" doesn't mean I'm going to. Drop it."

"No, Dean. I really think you should talk about this." He paused and looked uncertain for a moment. Dean knew what was coming and prepared himself for it. "Is it…Lisa?"

Groaning, Dean ran both hands over his head, through his short hair, "Ya know, surprisingly, it isn't. I told you that just last month when you last demanded to know my "feelings"."

Dean looked up at his brother then. If he didn't feel so crappy, he probably would have laughed at the look on Sam's face. He seemed genuinely surprised, and a little confused, that Lisa wasn't the problem. Dean watched Sam, waiting for him to say something. When he didn't, Dean sighed in exasperation, "All right, Sammy. Just this once since you look so goddamned confused. It's been six years since I've dated anyone. Even longer since I dated a guy. It's like it's new all over again. That's all. I'm just plain ole nervous. Nothing profound, but I feel like a damned teenager and I really hate that."

Recovered from his mini shock, Sam nodded in understanding, his hazel eyes soft, "Okay, I get that. But this seemed like more than first date jitters."

"Try remembering how you felt on your first date ever. It was probably back in middle school. Kind of like that, but with adult problems, baggage, and overthinking thrown in. The end."

"All right. Fine. I believe you."

"Good. I wish you'd have just Let. It. Go."

"You've been watching Disney's "Frozen" with Anael again, haven't you?"

The question felt so off-the-wall that Dean burst into laughter, which may have sounded slightly hysterical to Sam, but whatever. When their food came, Dean was still wiping tears of mirth off his face.

Throughout their meal, which was mostly silent, Dean periodically threw grateful looks at Sam as the man picked at his salad, frowning at the limp lettuce. He would absolutely never admit it, but the awkward talk and the much needed laughter had helped. Dean let a small smile slip through as he asked about what Sam was up to at work, and his brother put down his fork and sprang into describing his latest case.

Sam and Dean, well mostly Sam, talked until it was time for Dean to pick up Anael from daycare. Ellen wasn't at "The Roadhouse" that day, so they paid their tab and left. In the parking lot, Sam momentarily squeezed Dean's arm in silent encouragement before moving to his car and driving away with a wave. Dean leaned against the Impala, thinking. What he'd told Sam had been true, but Lisa was still part of it. Every time he thought of being with someone else, he felt a twinge in his chest, followed by guilt, and then he'd have to actively remember things that Lisa herself had told him. Sometimes that process stayed stuck on guilt and Dean didn't know how to make it stop. He knew that the whole "in time" thing was bullshit. He would never forget and he knew losing Lisa would always hurt, but moving on as she had asked him to do seemed impossible.

Forcing air out of his lungs in a huff, Dean forced his feelings back into their designated boxes, slid into the Impala's front seat, and drove off towards his daughter.

Picking up Anael had been quick, as usual. Dean always arrived at the same time each day during the week, and knowing Charlie like he did guaranteed Ana's quick transfer back into Dean's care. But today, the two weren't going home. In the backseat on the way to Jess' shop, Ana was quieter than usual, like she knew something was different. Either that or she could sense that Dean was becoming more and more nervous. Dean thought he'd read something about smaller children being able to pick up on that sort of stuff, but he couldn't think clearly enough to remember right now. Even so, it didn't matter now. They were there.

Parking the Impala, Dean glanced at his watch. Three-thirty. He had about fifteen minutes to calm the hell down. Getting out slowly, grabbing up Anael in her carrier, and then walking towards the front entrance to "Heavenly Sweets" was a lot harder than Dean thought it would be. _Come on, Dean. It's fine. It's just a date for Christ's sake. Not like you're asking the guy to stay forever. It's coffee. You like coffee. And pie. Jess has pie. You're getting pie._

As Dean's thoughts drifted onto one of his favorite subjects, his nerves lessened and he walked into the shop looking a tad more human than he had been a few moments ago. Giving the place a quick scan, Dean saw the shop was empty of anyone. Moving toward the back booth, the same one Castiel had been sitting at the first time, Dean put down Anael's carrier on the inside of the booth. He grabbed the blanket he kept tucked to the side and covered her with it. Naptime today would be here at the shop. Thankfully, she already looked ready to drop. "Be right back," he told her as he moved to the display cases holding the day's pie choices.

"Hey, Jess! You in the back?" Dean called in the direction of the kitchen.

There was a deafening crash of something hitting the floor and then a few seconds later some short guy with honey blonde hair that had flour in it ran to the front looking beyond just ruffled, "Hi! Oh my God, I'm so sorry! I didn't hear the door and I was trying to reach bowls that were up on the high shelf, but Jess isn't here and I didn't know where the step ladder was, so I just kind of climbed on top of the counter, but then I heard someone yell right as I was about to reach up, so I fell and…"

Dean held up his hands, "Jesus dude, slow the hell down. It's fine. I'm guessing you're Gabriel then. Jess is my brother's wife. I'm not gonna tell her you were climbing on her counters. I just wanted some pie."

The man blinked golden-brown eyes owlishly, "Oh. Right. What kind?"

"A piece of the apple would be nice."

Gabriel took another moment and then smiled brightly, "Okay, can do!" He whirled around grabbed a plate, fork, and napkin before spinning back and cutting into the pie. A second later, he handed it over to Dean saying, "Just take it. Seriously. Don't tell Jess."

Dean raised an eyebrow, "Yeah, sure thing. Not gonna say no to free pie." He took the plate and walked back over to where he had left Ana. Checking on her, he saw that despite the racket caused by Gabriel, she had fallen asleep without a problem. Sitting down in the seat facing both Anael and the window, Dean started eating his pie. Glancing back over to the counter, he saw that Gabriel had gone back to the kitchen area. He shook his head at the memory of the whirlwind of a person he had just met. Jesus, the guy was probably in his early thirties, like Dean, but Gabriel needed to take a chill pill. Jess hadn't been kidding. Then again, she also hadn't been lying when she said he made some damn good pie. Dean gazed out the window and daydreamed about getting that recipe off him. Maybe he'd exchange it for Dean's continued silence about the man's obvious insanity. He chuckled to himself. Nah, blackmail wasn't his style. Maybe he could just…

The voice that interrupted his rather childish musings was rough, deep, and gravely, causing all of Dean's thoughts to screech to a halt in a split second.

"Hello, Dean."


	5. Heart in Your Throat

Feeling as though his stomach was suddenly in his throat, Dean swallowed as he slowly turned toward the man standing directly behind him. Cas stood there, looking slightly rumpled in his ill-fitting suit and beige trench coat, but he had a small smile on his face. _Wait. Trench coat?_

Finding his voice, Dean wrinkled his eyebrows at Castiel's attire, "Dude, you do know it's March and nearly eighty degrees outside, right?"

Smile falling, Castiel glanced down at his clothing, "My building gets very cold. I find the coat is something I require in my office."

Dean mentally winced. _Good going, Winchester. Insult the guy why don't ya? This is going great already. _

He was suddenly painfully aware of the tense silence, "Right! Got it. Just don't want ya passing out from a heat stroke, yeah? I'd rather not have our date at the hospital." Dean smiled nervously and motioned towards the seat across from himself, "Come sit down."

Castiel nodded as he moved and sat down on the cushioned seat, still managing to look rather stiff. He hadn't removed the coat.

Dean looked over at Anael, who was still snoozing, and almost wished she'd wake up and give him a distraction, but not quite. If she woke up now, she'd be a terror the rest of the day.

Rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly, Dean said the first thing that came to mind, "So the weather is nice," and immediately grimaced while barely refraining from smacking himself. _Oh Christ, really? Did I seriously just blurt that out?_

According to Cas' solemn nod of agreement, he had, but the man still hadn't said anything.

The silence continued for several moments, becoming denser by the second. At the same time, Dean was getting angry with himself, _You've got to be kidding. You talked just fine a week ago. What's so different now? Just…talk about something you talked about then. Maybe that'll help. _Dean twiddled his thumbs on the surface of the table as he thought and looked awkwardly in Castiel's general direction. _Oh, right, there's an idea_, "Uh… How's your class going? Religious Studies, right?"

It was like a switch had been hit in Castiel. The blue-eyed man instantly sat up straighter and grinned, the bright, honest smile doing its best to stop Dean's heart.

"Yes, that's right. You'll remember the papers I was grading last week?" Cas waited for Dean's affirmation, "Well, while I was correct about those not going well, and the fault really is my own, I have since moved on to lecture on John Milton's "Paradise Lost". It is a truly amazing piece of epic poetry and certainly my favorite part of each term. While it is not a religious text itself, Milton's take on the fall of the Archangel Lucifer, the building of Hell, and the Christian creation story is, as the author himself states, meant to justify and explain God's actions to Mankind. It is very moving bit of literature as well as being informative about Men and their interpretations and justifications of their deities. The first two books are the ones I most enjoy. They deal specifically with the war in Heaven and the fall of Lucifer into Hell. Did you know that along with him, one-third of the Angels fell as well? It is a little known fact among even the most religious of people, I've found, unless they have studied the subject extensively. What I've come to believe through my own research and interpretations is that, oddly enough, Lucifer was mainly cast out for his own qualities he shared with humanity and…"

As Castiel talked animatedly about the apparent humanity in Angels, most specifically Lucifer, Dean felt himself relax into his chair, lips twitching upward as he stared at the man sitting before him. This is what he remembered from his first short meeting with Castiel. His voice was relaxing (he imagined he was a fantastic instructor) and he was clearly passionate about his profession. That quality was hard to find in people nowadays. Everything about Castiel told of his genuine warmth and light; a light which Dean wouldn't mind basking in endlessly.

Bathed in the sunlight streaming in through the bakery windows, Cas himself could easily be mistaken for a being decidedly more ethereal than a human. His hair, so dark brown it may as well have been black, seemed to swallow the light shining on him, making the hazy air about him glow. His eyes did the exact opposite; they were a reflecting pool of intense and piercing cerulean. Cas was still beaming at him as he spoke about his research and the courses he taught; the smile was nearly blinding as it showed off perfect white teeth surrounded by full, kissable lips. The small laugh lines around his eyes, brought out by his grin, only added to the beauty of him. Castiel looked like the Angel his name dubbed him as, and Dean couldn't bring himself to stop his blatant staring until the angel himself called for his attention, "Dean? Are you alright?"

Forcing himself to focus on what Cas was actually _saying_, Dean uncrossed his arms and rested his elbows on the table, "Yeah, Cas. I'm fine." _I just really like you and I don't actually know how to tell you. _

Dean watched as one of Castiel's eyebrows shifted upward, "I see. I only ask because you had the look that some of my students sometimes get when they are thinking about other things in the middle of my lectures. I apologize if I am boring you. I often forget that not everyone has the same passion for religions and literature that I harbor."

"No, no! You're not boring me. Not at all. Really. And I think it's great that you have something you love so completely. Not everyone can say that. Hobbies get old for people, so they always try and find something else. Or they'll have a job simply for the money it brings in. It's nice to see something, _someone_, who's different." _Not to mention the fact that your students were probably right there with me on the train of thought of how beautiful you are if the look is that familiar to you. You're probably distracting your own students and not even realizing it. Go figure._

"Geez, Dean-o. You're gonna make a guy blush." The voice that cut into Dean's tirade, and then mental additions, was rather loud and grating. Dean briefly worried that he'd said that last bit out loud, but upon looking at Castiel, who looked rather unaffected, he relaxed, but tensed again when he remembered the unexpected visitor.

Dean looked up to confirm his suspicions and glared icily at the man. Gabriel. He'd had no problem with the guy until right that second, "It's Dean, and could you..."

"Great job! You know your name! And hey, if I'd have known _you_ were the one that Cassie was meeting here, I wouldn't have given you the free pie. Can't go looking like a softy to someone who wants to take advantage of my little brother!"

Dean felt his cheeks and ears heat rapidly at Gabriel's words, "What? No, I…"

At the same time, Cas' entire face had reddened as he admonished, "Gabriel. My name is Castiel, not Cassie. I do not appreciate your irritating nicknames and while I may be your younger brother, I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself. Now I wish to ask you to please go back to work."

Gabriel huffed dramatically, rolling his eyes so far back that Dean found himself wishing they'd get stuck, "I _am _at work, Cassie! Look! I even brought you the coffee that neither of you even bothered to order!" Gabriel set the two mugs, that neither Cas nor Dean had noticed Gabriel even had, out on the table in front of them. "There, see? I'm a good brother and all that. My bases are covered. I embarrassed you both and gave you free things and…"

The front door to the shop opened then, revealing Sam and Jess. She held the door for Sam since he was hauling a box in with him. Jess waved, smiling at the three, giving Gabriel an obvious look that said leave-them-alone-and-go-do-something-else before she disappeared into the back, Sam following behind with a, "Hey guys!" Right as he turned the corner for the kitchen, Sam poked his head back around the bright yellow wall, "Hey, Gabe. I need to know where these dishes and appliances go in the kitchen. Come help." He vanished around the corner again, clearly expecting Gabriel to be close behind.

From the booth, both Dean and Castiel stared expectantly at Gabriel. Dean looked annoyed. Cas just looked bored, as though Gabriel's behavior was nothing new to him. It probably wasn't. Sighing is defeat, Gabriel spun around, threw a wink at the two over his shoulder, and was gone as quickly as he'd appeared, leaving Cas and Dean alone again.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note:<strong> Hello everyone! Just a quick rundown for anyone who is curious: As an English major in college, I have studied "Paradise Lost" (yes, on purpose) quite a lot. I spent almost an entire semester on it and wrote multiple research papers covering the material. My main focus were the first two books. Of course, my opinions are my own, but I gave them to Castiel in this story to show his (and my) enthusiasm for the text.

**Extra Disclaimer: **I do not own John Milton's "Paradise Lost", nor do I own Supernatural and its characters.


	6. Finding a Comfort Zone

They stared at each other for a moment before Dean's face broke into a small smile that he was sure looked more like a grimace, "He always that way?"

Castiel's entire face seemed to drop in resignation, "Yes, he has been that way throughout our lives. It can be…tiresome. Thankfully, I no longer live with him."

Seeing an opportunity for a peak into Castiel's more personal life, Dean quickly asked, "So where do you live now? I've got a place about ten minutes out from here in that little neighborhood right inside the town limits."

"I live in my parent's old home. It is a somewhat short walk from here. Gabriel did not want it, so I ended up inheriting it when my father passed. I do not remember my mother and my father was rarely there anyway, so it already felt like it was mine. It is conveniently placed, so I walk most everywhere since I do not own a vehicle."

Ignoring the tremor of familiarity and rush of understanding of Castiel's situation, Dean latched onto the more comfortable subject, "You don't have a car?"

Cas shrugged, "I saw no need for it."

"Yeah, I get that, but man, I couldn't imagine being without my Baby."

Cas' head tilted a little to the side and he glanced at Anael, "Baby?" Dean's laughter filled the quiet shop. He didn't understand why Dean was laughing, but the sound of it made Castiel feel warm. He took a sip of the coffee Gabriel had brought before tuning in to Dean's response.

"No, my car. I've got a 1967 Chevy Impala. I've called her Baby since, hell, I honestly can't remember. She's my pride and joy, second only to Ana, of course."

"Of course." Castiel settled the cup back into its saucer. Both of his hands surrounded the almost too warm cup as he stared at the coffee's surface and tried to think of something else to say. Perhaps something that could make Dean laugh again…

But Dean began talking before he could come up with something. He sounded hesitant, "Maybe I could give you a ride home? So, ya know, you don't have to walk."

Castiel raised his eyes and looked at Dean in confusion, "I like walking."

Whatever hope had been on Dean's face vanished so quickly, Castiel wasn't even sure it had been there at all. He looked…dejected, if Cas had to put a word to it. _Did I say something wrong? _Replaying the last few moments in his head, Castiel came to the conclusion that he may have given Dean the impression he didn't like him by saying he would rather walk home. Cas cleared his throat, intent on fixing his (now) obvious blunder, "However, I should like to talk with you more, so accepting your offer would be my pleasure, Dean."

Dean's demeanor visibly brightened and he grinned at Castiel, eyes sparkling, "Great!" He paused a moment before smirking, "I'd walk you home if walking was what you wanted, but since I've got Anael, maybe we can save that for next time?" Again, Dean sounded hopeful, his eyes wide and bright.

Castiel dipped his head and wrung his hands under the table, "Yes, next time would be nice."

Dean, who hadn't touched his coffee up to that point, finally grabbed the cup and downed the liquid quickly and nearly spit it back out. It was cold. Confused, he looked from Cas' cup to his own and realized what the problem was. _Bastard gave me an old batch of coffee. Damn it, Gabriel._ He had to (begrudgingly) admit though, for a more subtle prank, the guy did slamming the mug back on the table, but careful not to break the porcelain or wake Anael, he smiled widely at Cas. _I've got another date! Awesome. There. See? That wasn't so bad. You freaked yourself out for no damn reason. Again._

Narrowly avoiding tripping over the legs of the table as he stood, Dean grabbed hold of Anael's car seat, careful not to jostle her too much, and looked back down at Cas, "So? Ready to go?"

Glancing sadly at his coffee, which was still half full and actually looked warm, Castiel took one more sip of the liquid and joined Dean at the side of the table, "Yes, that is fine. I have some grading to do tonight."

Dean wasn't entirely sure where to go from there, so he simply nodded in understanding, pulled out his car keys, and headed for the exit. Right before he reached the door, he stopped and turned back around, "Hey, Cas, hold Ana for a minute, will ya?"

Castiel frowned, but took the carrier from Dean's hand anyway, trying not to blush when their hands brushed over the handle. Thankfully, Dean had already made his way to the counter and proceeded to lean over it as far as he could, yelling into the kitchen, "See ya, Sammy! Bye, Jess! Oh, and Gabriel, your coffee sucks!"

Immediately, Dean heard Sam's reply of, "It's Sam!" Jess' voice saying, "Gabriel, what did you do?" in the most reproving voice she could muster. And cackling laughter from the aforementioned baker. Rolling his eyes and silently asking _why me_, Dean slipped off the counter. Feet once more planted firmly on the tile, he spun around towards Cas and stopped when he saw the look on the man's face.

Still standing by the door and carefully holding Anael's car seat in both hands, and Dean wasn't going to think about how _right _that looked in his mind, Castiel's intense gaze was riveted to the spot where Dean's ass had just been on display. Smirking, Dean sauntered up to Castiel and snapped in front of his face to get the guy's attention, clearing his throat, "Cas, I know my ass is great, but come on; you're gonna ogle me while holding my daughter?"

Blinking rapidly and blushing hotly, Cas' eyes widened at being caught before he searched Dean's eyes with his own, saw the humor dancing there, and relaxed. "My apologies. I was under the impression that 'ogling' was allowed on dates. You were the one who leaned over the counter, after all. It was…distracting."

Chuckling, Dean leaned closer to Cas, breathing hotly in his ear, "If you thought that was distracting, I can't wait to find out what else catches those pretty blue eyes of yours. Wonder what it takes to make you forget those things…" before waltzing to the door and sweeping it open. Dean mentally congratulated himself as Cas took a good five or six seconds to gather his thoughts before walking through the threshold, blushing fiercely once again, still carrying Anael.

Neither man saw Sam and Jess standing at the entrance of the kitchen with Sam looking at the unfinished piece of pie on the back table in surprise and Jess smiling gently after the two who had just left her shop.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note:<strong> I still have quite a bit I want to do with this story, so we're not done yet! Thanks for reading and your comments are always appreciated!


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